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When Church Staff Betray Their Pastor

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When Church Staff Betray Their Pastor

(Excerpt of a 2004 interview on Loyalty with John MacArthur)

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What was the most difficult thing for you as a young pastor?

JOHN: The most difficult thing that ever happens to me, whether it’s when I’m young or old, is disloyalty at the level of leadership. Not because I deserve loyalty, but because disloyalty is so destructive.

The hardest thing you’ll ever deal with is false accusation…people who say things about you that aren’t true and undermine people’s trust and confidence and this goes on in my case all the time all over the place. Not so much at Grace Church, anymore. Our people are very loyal. All the critics I’ve outlived. What are they going to bring up that they haven’t brought up in the past, you know.

But even beyond Grace Church, there are all kinds of accusations and criticisms that aren’t related to reality made against me. That’s very hard to deal with because I don’t want to be viewed by anybody as unfaithful to the Lord, unfaithful to His Word as an unfaithful Christian.

But I think it’s particularly painful at the level of intimacy when you pour your life in investment spiritually into men around you that serve with you and they generate a mutiny against you. That is very hard to deal with…very hard.

That happened to you…

JOHN: Oh, it’s happened several times. Yeah, it’s happened several times. And it’s a shock. You know, your own familiar friend has lifted up his heel against you, the one with whom you broke bread, you know, like the Scripture says about Judas.

And I’m loyal. I think the only way to get loyalty is to give loyalty. If somebody in church comes to me and criticized another staff member, they don’t find me a very good listener. I will rise to the defense of all those that are in my care and serve alongside me. People don’t do that because they know they’re not going to get anywhere with me.

And I expect in giving that loyalty to receive that back because disloyalty is so harmful to the unity of the church. So that’s always been the hardest thing to deal with.

To criticize me personally, is not disloyal.

To undermine me and criticize me publicly, behind my back, that’s disloyal.

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My Day with Ray Ortlund

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This past week I had the privilege of sitting at the feet of Ray Ortlund in Nashville. Ray is a hero of mine who oozes love and grace. He dropped wisdom-nuggets all day — it was like drinking out of a fire hose!

For what it’s worth, here are some of my takeaways from our time together:

  • Time doesn’t heal wounds, Jesus does.

  • “Live dangerously and give your heart away.”

  • You will be present with people in their memories.

  • If you want to know the mind of Christ, look at the Old Testament.

  • A broken-hearted man in process can preach Christ crucified with authority.

  • Wallpaper your reality with Scripture (i.e. post verses on your bathroom mirror).

  • You matter to God more than the ministry. You are not just a cog in His wheel.

  • “Christianity is for people who are bad at Christianity!”

  • Christ has welcomed you. He doesn’t just tolerate you.

  • What holds a larger church together is trust.

  • People are attracted to humble leaders.

  • Don’t let anything take the heart out of you!

Family Time

Tonight I was part of something new in our household - Tuesday Night Date Nights with a Parent.

With four younger kids at home, it’s tough to carve out real one-on-one time. And honestly, eating out as a family? It’s expensive, loud, and usually more chaotic than fun.

So we decided to try a new system. Tuesday nights are usually open, so each week, one of the kids gets to go out with a parent - just the two of us. Amber even made a rotation so every kid gets a turn with each parent before the end of the year.

Tonight was Seth’s turn with me, and he chose Golden Corral (all you can eat dessert). We talked about friends, school, his dreams, and all the things he loves. We even snuck in a quick Five Below stop - his happy place.

It felt so good to slow down and focus completely on Seth. I can already tell this is going to become one of our favorite family traditions.

What’s your favorite way to carve out one-on-one time with your kids (or loved ones)? I’d love to hear your ideas!

Notes from 20 Years Ago: Trials and Tragedy in a Leader's Life

Trials are anything that cause you to question your faith.  James doesn't say "If trials come," he says "WHEN trials come."

"Suffering is a beautiful hermeneutic." - Dr. John Piper

We come to know God not in the blessing, but in the breaking.

Trials "hyper-stand us;" they train us like a muscle to be stronger in the future.

Too often we focus on the pain of the trial, not the product of the trial.  If you focus on the pain, you will become disillusioned with God and the Church.

Tragedy introduces us to our own heart - Jeremiah 17.9.

Trials reveal not God's absence but His presence.  Theme of 2 Corinthians = ministry is death.  Chapter 1 = the comfort you recieve from God makes you compassionate toward others in pain.

Trials knock down the things that we trust other than God. Idolatry-killer.

Godless leadership is leading from our own strengths & gifts (i.e. Samson).
Godly leadership is leading from our weakness (i.e. Gideon - prunes the pretenders away).

The man that God uses mightily He wounds greatly. 
Why would God take away your weakness when that's the trigger for His power?

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