6 WORDS YOU NEED IN YOUR LEADERSHIP VOCABULARY

1. PATIENCE

  • If you get too frustrated with the process, you’ll quit the mission God has given you.

  • Just because you were patient one season, doesn’t mean you’ll be patient in the next.

  • The patience you use for yourself should be the patience you use for others.

2. CONFRONTATION

  • Confrontation is necessary for growth.

  • When done well, it’s an opportunity to BUILD trust.

  • If you tolerate things that are against your values, it says more about you than the other person.

3. RISK TAKING

  • Anytime you step out to do something great, you have to count the cost.

  • Great leaders are willing to take this risk rather than play it safe.

4. RECRUITING

  • If you’re a good recruiter, you can SEE in others what they cannot see in THEMSELVES!

  • Great leadership builds up great people without needing any of the credit.

5. ATTITUDE

  • There are many things in leadership you can’t control, but what you CAN control is your attitude.

  • A leader with a great attitude can lead through any situation.

6. EMPOWERING

  • You can recruit, but can you give away and delegate responsibilities?

  • The day of the lone ranger is done, the superhero in leadership is the one that empowers others!

4 Great Side-Effects When You Deal with Conflict Correctly

Conflict is a good thing. Any time you work with people, you can expect there to be some level of conflict. Most of us shy away from it, but it can actually lead to great team chemistry and trust. The consequences of not resolving conflict will always be greater than the reward. I would rather live in the small reward of conflict resolution than the vast consequences of never coming to resolution. 

Here are 4 things that conflict creates when resolved in a healthy way:


1. CONFLICT CREATES TRUST

  • Avoiding conflict creates mistrust. 

  • The pillars of a strong relationship are trust, communication, and respect. When I confront issues with people, it should build trust. We are choosing to not air out our grievances behind their back, but are willing to go straight to the source and provide constructive feedback. 

  • Establish trust by being a leader that confronts issues. Commit to working through differences and being someone that builds them up. 

2. CONFLICT CREATES CLARITY

  • Avoiding conflict creates questions. 

  • Clarity eliminates confusion. Great leaders address the eggshells and clarify the ‘why’ and the expectations. Part of leadership is providing the guardrails that people live and lead within. Clarity brings safety. 

  • Establish clarity by confronting issues when they happen and clarifying expectations or how their decision affected you.

 

3. CONFLICT CREATES CHEMISTRY

  • Avoiding conflict creates awkwardness. 

  • Conflict and resolution should lead to more trust which should lead to more chemistry. Any time I’ve had tough conversations with people, I leave feeling more connected. Remember this: You are one conversation away from solving the issue. Maybe your team lacks chemistry because there’s no confrontation.

  • Establish chemistry by having tough conversations and holding others accountable.

 

4. CONFLICT CREATES CREATIVITY

  • Avoiding conflict limits our ability to find a solution. 

  • Most of us get stuck because we’re unwilling to address the issue. But when you confront the issue - whether it be with a person, finances, family, etc. - you can inspect the reality of the situation so that you can get creative in how to address it and move forward. 

  • Establish creativity by being open enough to address the issue and look at it from a different perspective. 

 

Ultimately, the better we become at conflict resolution, the healthier our lives will be. Make it a goal for yourself to close the gap between your conflict and solutions. When we address the small things, it gives us the confidence to address the big things.

5 KEYS TO GROWING YOUR CHURCH IN 2023

Why are the things that USED to work not working now?

Why are most churches NOT growing right now?

  1. The Great Reset happened - and it impacted almost every church. Culture shifts - pandemic, politically, racial strife, migration out of cities. People are rethinking everything.

  2. America is becoming more post-Christian. Rise of the Nones.

  3. You’ve shut down or throttled back your digital presence. This gets rid of your discoverability. Or it’s all about Sunday only.

  4. What you offer digitally is the same as what you offer in-person.

  5. The message isn’t the draw it used to be. Scarcity creates value and the message isn’t scarce since it’s online.

  6. Hype isn’t cutting it anymore.

  7. You’re focused on the wrong audience.

So how do you grow your church in this environment?

Key #1: Renew yourself and your team.
A lot of pastors are exhausted. Lots of grief. Lack of momentum is it’s own form of discouragement. Healthy leaders grow healthy churches. Unhealthy leaders don’t. What do you need to do to become a healthy leader? Grieve your losses and process everything you’ve been through. Healthy at the top, healthy at the bottom. Aligned at the top, aligned at the bottom. Healthy people aren’t attracted to unhealthy leaders or organizations.

Key #2: Renew your mission. Work on your mission until it burns white hot. Identify a big problem you are trying to solve. Renew or define the founder/problem fit.

Key #3: Make digital and in-person each more distinctive. Make in-person more personal. Make in-person a non-downloadable, transcendent experience. “You kinda had to be there.”

Key #4: Elevate community. We’re drowning in a world of content. Nobody should be able to out-community the local church. Relationships are sticky; they make you stick around!

Key #5: Identify and scale your biggest growth barrier.
Barriers emerge at 200, 400, and 800 attenders:

  • 200 Barrier: Pastoral care – scale your pastoral care. The key to pastoral care is having someone who cares. It doesn’t have to be the pastor.

  • 400 Barrier: Staffing – Hire leaders, not doers.

  • 800 Barrier: Governance and push-down decision making. Staff-led, elder-protected, people gifted.

  • Identify your biggest growth barrier and how you intend to scale it.

Holy Shift Excerpt: Think Ensemble in Your Leadership

"You know what intimacy is? It's into-me-you-see.” - Martin de Maat

Image

The original pioneers of improv-comedy in the 1950s included now-famous names like Alan Arkin, Mike Nichols, and a very young Joan Rivers. A famous story from the annals of Second City recounts how Rivers was once on stage and asked for an audience suggestion for a scene. When "marriage" was shouted back, Joan initiated the scene by saying, "I want a divorce." Joan’s on-stage partner said Yes, And to her initiation by saying, “What about the children?” Joan shot back,“We don’t have any children!”

Of course, there was a big laugh from the audience, but Rivers' cheap laugh set up her partner—and the scene—for failure. Her denial of his reality killed the scene and ended the team’s collaboration. She destroyed more than future possibilities in the scene; Rivers denied and destroyed the trust between partners.

RjA2c6h-asset-mezzanine-16x9-tc1ZaS0

It's time to make a Holy Shift in your leadership through a crucial comedy technique.  I want you to Think Ensemble. 

Teamwork makes the dream work. In the comedy world, you are taught to always, always, always make your partner look good. It’s not about sharing the spotlight; it is about moving the spotlight completely off of yourself and more brightly onto everyone else on the stage. It’s the comedic equivalent of valuing community. Improvisation is about serving your partner instead of being out there and showing off.

Holyshift

Have you ever watched an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway?  Have you noticed how the comics don’t have time to sit down, write out their ideas, memorize lines, re-write lines? It’s because they Start with a Yes and build on the idea by thinking ensemble.

You don’t know what is going to come out of your partner’s mouth—whatever they say in an improv scene instantly becomes the reality of the scene.  Therefore, you want to build a net of trust to leap into—and that trust is knit together by the knowledge that you will always support one another, no matter what. 

When you think ensemble, your church will build effective teams, break down silos, and foster creativity. Ensemble gives you an instantaneous advantage with different situations; the outcome isn’t dependent on one lone person. Thinking ensemble strengthens the Body. 

242834514_281623293786963_3292148835511498554_n

Think of an ensemble as a baseball team. You don’t want to load your roster with all sluggers. You need different points of view and complementary strengths. Diversity is the key to thinking ensemble. The enemies of thinking ensemble are the need to be right, stealing focus, and appearing to be in control. Jesus’ disciples were always short-circuiting things when they felt the need to be right (Peter), tried stealing the focus (James and John), or were appearing to be in control (Judas the treasurer).

Ensemble is hard, but rewarding. When nobody cares who gets the credit, your team is able to explore and heighten new ideas together. When you think of winning sports teams, the championship is won not by a single athlete, but by a team of players working together. The burden is shared and the win is shared. When you think ensemble, you are freed to walk into a meeting and bring a brick, not a cathedral.

Holyshiftagain

RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT DISPOSABLE IN A FACEBOOK WORLD

Thinking ensemble looks easy on paper but is hard in real life. Why? Because we live in the time of Facebook and Twitter, two mighty platforms that can amplify messages—and amplify grudges—if handled immaturely. And believe me, social media can be like crack for immaturity addicts.

Locker-room-57700

I have a theory: we never really leave middle school. That short season of life where the awkwardness of adolescence collides with our first tastes of personal responsibility follows us through life. Many men are still that boy in the junior high locker room comparing and many women walk through life fearful of others’ opinions. We have the popular kids (Hollywood), the geeks (ComicCon), the need for cooler toys (Amazon), and petty schoolyard fights (political races). We never really leave middle school. Social media simply amplifies our inner middle school angst.

Angry at someone? Technology doesn’t force you to seek reconciliation; you can simply “UnFollow” them. They won’t even know. Facebook has made relationships disposable, just another product to consume and spit out.

That’s why thinking ensemble is so explosive: relationships are vital toward forward progress. When you sign up to be a leader, you signup for conflict. Thinking ensemble directs you to walk toward the people there is conflict with, not away from them (you can’t support someone you’re not talking to). In the Bible, we read these words about conflict:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 (ESV)

The Gospel reminds us that we are messy humans who easily fall into sin. Our flesh can sometimes seek to judge before our spirit listens. But Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that if it has flesh and blood, it is not your enemy. If you are holding anger toward someone or unwilling to revisit boundaries you've set up, it's time to wake up to the fact that that person is not your enemy. They are a human being created in the image of God whom Jesus already died for and the Father has already declared to be not guilty.

Reconciliation is not something you can put off. Biblically, it is always for today. As I gently remind our church periodically, the Internet is an online tool for building community, but should never be used for tearing it down. Here is an axiom to live by: if you ever feel wronged by someone (a fellow Christ follower, a church staff member, a pastor, etc.), posting your grievance online is never the correct course of action. In fact, if someone is willing to attack another person through a blog hiding behind flickering pixels but refuses to meet with them in person, we have a word for that: coward.

Holyshift

EDITOR’S NOTE: The has been an excerpt from my book, Holy Shift. I lead what has been recognized as one of America’s fastest-growing churches, LifeChurchMichigan.com. Part of my training was at The Second City in Chicago.

Holy Shift is about unleashing contagious enthusiasm on church leadership teams; equipping leaders to leverage laughter and passion; and creating sustainable momentum in reaching younger crowds for Christ.

Order copies for your team now on Amazon or ChurchLeaders.com!

 

Last Train is the Best Train

UPDATED:

I apologize and celebrate that The Monkees are NOT, in fact, retiring! Thank you, Micky, for your correction via Twitter.


I have attended NINE concerts with either the full Monkees playing or solo concerts from the likes of Davy Jones and Micky Dolenz.

None of them (I repeat, none of them) packed the emotional whallop on display from Michael Nesmith during The Monkees’ Farewell Tour stop in Detroit this past week.

Michael Nesmith of The Monkees at The Masonic Temple in Detroit, Michigan on Tuesday, November 3, 2021

It is unfortunate that there has been so much online chatter and rumors regarding Nesmith’s recent health scares. Yes, it is true that Nez was sans guitar on this tour stop. Yet what he lacked in guitar strumming he more than made up for with his quirky impersonations, slap-stick comments, and authentic displays of heartfelt gratitude toward fans during this farewell to fans of the Pre-Fab Four.

Full Confession: I’ve always been a fan of Micky Dolenz. His hijincks on reruns of the 1960’s hit tv show enthralled my imagination as a child of the 80’s.

From the moment I first saw Micky singing I’m A Believer during Walt Disney World’s 15th Anniversary Special, I was hooked on the comedy genius as well as the hit songs.

What struck me during this final appearance of The Mike & Micky Show was how Micky and Mike traded roles within the band.

Whereas Mike was the straight man for so many years to Micky’s wild and crazy antics, the proverbial tables were turned in this final outing: it was Nesmith who kept the audience in stitches with energy and delight (as you can see in the above and below bootleg videos I filmed during the concert!).

Fedora-clad showman Micky instead was the defacto maestro who kept every song on pitch and moving along deftly.

Micky Dolenz and Michael Nesmith in Detroit, Michigan on November 3, 2021

The song selections were rich and deep with a fine back-up band keeping the beat. My only regret in this final outing was the lack of any stage design. I would have loved to have seen the giant video-screen from the 2012 tour days or even the giant neon Monkees guitar from 1996 (pictured below). I’m sure the choice for stage simplicity was a function of cutting costs during touring.

Davy Jones, Peter Tork, and Micky Dolenz in Moline, Illinois during an August 1996 tour.

Will we see any future incarnation of The Monkees? Only time will tell.

As Dolenz has often shared in interviews, “We’ve always joked that we would sing Hey, Hey We’re The Monkees until there was only one of us left. In that case, they would sing, Hey, Hey It’s A Monkee!

Photo Essay: Super Hero Sunday

Leading Through Change -- When Staff and Members Leave

Notes from Dale O’Shields’ presentation: Leading Through Change -- When Staff and Members Leave

  1. Staffing is a Key Decision

  • 1 Timothy 5: “Do not lay hands on a man suddenly.” Any staff hire is a very important, sobering decision. Be slow to hire.

  • You want to hire someone who is focused on the TOWEL, not the TITLE. You are here to SERVE.



2. Have a Process in Place for Evaluating Staff and Key Volunteers

You are giving people significant responsibilities; have a system for evaluating:

  • Character — Not just about morality. Look at their work ethic, faithfulness, integrity.

  • Competency — Are they all hat, no cattle?

  • Culture — Do they fit well within your existing culture?

  • Chemistry — Likeability Factor. Do you enjoy being around this guy?

  • Calling — Look for the fingerprint of God on the hire of that person.

  • Capacity for Leadership — Can they grow with the role and the growth of the church? Can they reproduce themself and become a multiplier, not a maintainer?

 

3. Understand + Accept that some Staff + Church Members WILL have to Transition

  • Understanding this will save you a lot of heartache.

  • Think of your church like a bus with stops along the way. What happens at a bus stop? Some people get on and some people get off.

  • There will be significant transition points as your church grows.

  • When this happens, remind yourself that this is just all part of the process of church planting.

  • Don’t lose perspective. Your “loss” may actually be a huge win!

  • Some folks need to get off the bus.

  • Why do people leave your church?

    • Sometimes staff will leave you because the responsibilities have grown beyond their capacity to grow with the role.

    • They may outgrow the responsibilities. Your job is to always make sure your staff are being challenged.

    • They may lack the character / competence / chemistry required to stick with it.

    • They may not want to do the spiritual and emotional work in order to grow.

    • Unexpected circumstances arise in life. Think seasons. Life happens in seasons.

4. Remember that all Staff and Members need to be held loosely.

  • Anything you hold tightly you suffocate.

 

5. Promotions to key leadership roles should be carefully considered through prayer.

  • Faithful in the little before being faithful with much.

  • Make sure they have been tested.

  • This doesn’t always work: people fool you. Potential staff will lie to you to get a job.

  • Be very careful in giving out titles… You can’t take it back.

  • It doesn’t feed your ego, it fits your function.

 

6. Celebrate the Stays and Positively Release the Gos.

  • For some churches the only time the Staff has a party is when someone leaves. When is the last time you had a party with the people who STAY?

  • Sometimes God calls you to go but often God calls you to STAY!

  • Sometimes someone goes and it’s a good thing. Sometimes someone goes and it’s painful. Sometimes people go when they shouldn’t and you can see the truck that’s about to hit them, but they won’t listen to you.

 

7. Be prepared for + positively process the emotions that will accompany the exit of people.

  • Loss leads to Grief, which can confuse people. Be prepared for the grief. You love the person, you’ve invested in them for years.

  • When you feel grief, don’t beat yourself up about it. Allow yourself to experience and feel.

 

8. Give clear guidelines to departing staff on YOUR expectations regarding communication.

  • Information Void can crank up a church gossip grapevine: “What’s happening behind the scenes?”

  • This happens when there is too much of time that passes between their decision and the communication.

  • It is foolish to allow departing staff to announce their departure.

  • Provide information to fill any potential void. SOMEBODY is going to tell ‘the story.’ You need to protect the health of your church as it continues moving forward.

 

9. Expect emotional responses to any staff member’s departure.

  • Help them process, give them assurance.

 

10. Learn lessons from departures that can make you and your organization better.

  • How can we improve for next time?

  • What can I learn from this?

  • How can this make me better?

 

11. Avoid Prolonged Departures.

  • When someone says they want to leave, let them.

  • Don’t drag it out or they will drag people down with them.

  • When they say they want to leave, their heart has already left.

  • Be generous in their transition.

 

12. Be appropriately generous toward departing people who leave well.

  • Err on the side of grace, not pettiness.

  • Oftentimes people who leave will talk badly about you behind your back. Be gracious.

 

13. Expect a Honeymoon Period on Social Media at the Departing Person’s New Place.

  • “This new place is amazing!” Which means your place wasn’t.

  • At some point real life will kick in and they’ll stop.

  • Weather their honeymoon. You don’t need it in your spirit.

  • If it’s getting to you, delete the app.

  • Social media can feed a failure mentality.

 

14. Don’t Get Discouraged.

  • Don’t Think You’re the Only Person This Happens To.

  • This is the secret: don’t get discouraged. Fight it.

  • People WILL leave your church.

  • Staff members WILL betray you.

  • Don’t give air to fear.

  • Pruning leads to better fruit and a better future.

  • Get up and keep going by faith.

  • Sometimes you have to wait 11 years to see someone who left in a bad way come back in repentance.

 

WISDOM for DEPARTING STAFF

  1. If you’re leaving a church, get planted somewhere. Don’t wander.

  2. When you get planted somewhere, be a son or daughter of that House.

  3. Be an honorable, loyal, ethical, trusting Christian. Integrity matters. Honor your former pastor. Don’t go bush-league.

  4. If you’re leaving a church, do not play the “God told me” game.

  5. Don’t run from your issues! Your next church won’t change things. Geography doesn’t fix your problems.

  6. Remember whose spiritual platform you have been using and you have been benefiting from. You were LOANED a platform. Never take the power and trust.

  7. Never steal sheep.

  8. Never steal staff. That is unethical behavior.

  9. Fulfill your commitments. Don’t cut and run. That only hurts God’s people.

  10. Leave your assigned area of responsibility stronger, not weaker.

  11. Encourage commitment and faithfulness to the House that you’re leaving.

  12. Watch your words, non-verbals and your actions on the way out…
    because God is.

I Believe in You

Friend,

Rise up!

You are NOT held back by your past mistakes or present hurts.

Not pressed down by the expectations of others or those you place on yourself.

Make CONFIDENCE your stance -- take COURAGE!

Chase your dreams + give your best to stay authentic, fearless, risky and real.

Fiercely pursue the passions He has placed on your heart.

Choose to live in FAITH, not fear.

Go do it!

Embrace your calling.

You are God-commissioned -- specifically selected for His work.

He CHOSE and created you for such a time as this.

You're empowered to BE who you were created to be!

Cheering you on,

Jonathan

///

PS - Let's connect together!